I have been trying to post this all week. I wrote it up on Monday or Tuesday in word, but apparently my client's internet blocking software started blocking my blog and I kept forgetting to do it when I got home at night. So, here it is, a week late!
My friend, Meg, had a party. An awesome Lord of the Rings Extended Version marathon party. Picture a group of people who love Lord of the Rings and have seen the movies multiple times (plus most have read the books). We are also the type of people to make fun of a movie (even if we love it). The result was hilariousness. 12 hours of epic hilariousness.
I made ‘one ring’ cookies but they all got eaten so I have no pictures for you. Sad. They were good, though! I replaced my vanilla extract with vanilla bean paste and I will never go back. They were only one of many ring-shaped foods.
Here is a snippet of the day for you, in absolutely no logical order: (um, yeah, Lord of the Rings spoilers, I guess… If you haven’t seen them yet, what the heck is wrong with you?)
- After Gandalf undergoes his transformation, he must have borrowed Legolas’ conditioner
- I’m pretty sure Sam and Frodo have more sexual chemistry than Arwen and Aragorn. Not that the latter pair is lacking, the former pair just has a lot.
- Every time they are being pursued, as soon as the pursuer seems to be gone, they leap out of their hiding spaces 2 seconds later. There is no way that whatever is chasing them wouldn't be able to turn around at that point and say "caught you!"
- As a villain, you should never ask “you and what army?” in a movie. What happens next is never good for you.
- We are pretty sure the ring wraiths think they are vampires at times. Like the time they forget that they can just cross the river, rather than waiting for Arwen to enchant the water
- Watching the behind-the-scenes stuff is awesome, but some of it ruins a little of the magic. Meg and I started yelling “people in giant suits!” and “those aren’t really the actors!” and “face replacement!” and later I worked hard to try and ignore my knowledge of “how they did it”
- The Harry Potter/Lord of the Rings parallels become more apparent when you watch all the movies in a row. I still don’t think JK Rowling ripped off Tolkien any more than EVERY OTHER fantasy writer has. She’s just the most famous. Also, Tolkien was the shit and it just sucks that everyone else had to follow him.
- Legolas doesn’t emote very well, but he does hang his head down when “sad” with his facial expression unchanged. He almost smiles when “happy” though. Almost.
- Watching the extended versions, it seems like they cut several important background-building scenes, like the one that explains why Faramir is kind of a douche, but they left in long, unnecessary dream sequences between Arwen and Aragorn.
- Cutting out every scene where someone sings for the theatrical version was a good move. Literally everyone took a break to get more chips when Aragorn started his mumbly ballad. And come on, don’t you sometimes skip the songs when you read?
- When Arwen and Aragorn part ways, someone (Ben?) in our group started singing the Aerosmith song from Armageddon. Hilarious. There was also mention of the scene that made me never want to eat animal crackers again.
- You can always count on Legolas to tell you what you already know. Half of his lines are exclamations stating the obvious about what they are up against “Orcs!” “Goblins!” We took to yelling “Thanks, Legolas!” at the screen whenever he talked.
- Elves walk REALLY SLOWLY.
- Elves are downers. They are always sure that “grave peril” and “death” are the only inevitable outcomes of ANY situation or conflict.
- Elves are prejudiced against anyone less than 4 feet tall.
- When Treebeard calls for the Ents after walking all the way to Isengard, they come right out of the woods. Were they following him??
- Someone likened Treebeard’s extended ramblings to Vogon poetry. Funny, but I must disagree. His slow, sing-songy, voice may be the kind to put you to sleep, but the Ent poems/songs from the book are wonderful. We even used one in our wedding ceremony
- Eowyn is so happy Aragorn comes back alive. No one cares. She isn’t the one.
- Haldir dies. It’s dramatic, but no one cares. He was kind of a douche. He wasn’t even at Helms Deep in the book. He didn't deserve a slo-mo death scene
- These movies make me want to go to New Zealand. Badly.
- I love Legolas’ crazy horse-mounting. Awesome.
I love these movies.